This can mean different things for different people: some may want to get remarried, while others might want to start with friendship and go from there. Your year-old may want to linger and go down the rabbit hole trying to figure it all out. Why should I have to change that for someone else? But every day I coach women like you through situations they wish they didn't get into.
Would a non-widower have understood my grief? Tip Pray. Is there something that I could give him as a gift? The danger with comparing and contrasting is that anyone new will be measured according to an unachievable ideal. It means making good choices.