Love is a human need, but desire is still political, and it seems that romantic love especially can only be accessed by those with certain privileges and societal permissions. When presenting myself as a dating prospect, my checklist took into account the many expectations that men place on women to be seen as attractive. I was left questioning why all my favourite black bloggers are dating white men?
On the one hand, black women, like other women, can act on their partner preferences, and they have, ostensibly, a large pool of potential mates to choose from. This is our existence and we are burdened with these realities as we live, and as we love. It is one thing to be passed over on a dating site because of a hairstyle, or braces, or acne—or for a postgraduate degree or an addiction to Tim Hortons coffee. They always use the trendy lingo. Lifetime's Married at First Sight—a show true to its name, where relationship experts marry off complete strangers who first meet at the altar—is not without racism either, even through nine seasons that have featured a relatively diverse cast.